Teaching Children to Speak Up and Ask for Help

WHY SPEAKING UP MATTERS

Children need to know that they can talk to a responsible adult when they feel worried, uncomfortable, confused, or unsafe. A child does not need to solve a serious safety problem alone.

The core message is simple: Children can speak up, ask for help, and tell a trusted adult.

WHAT CHILDREN SHOULD LEARN

“I can say when something feels wrong.” “I can ask for help.” “I can talk to a trusted adult.” “I can move away from a situation when appropriate.” “I can keep asking for help if the first adult cannot help.” “I do not have to solve a serious safety problem by myself.”

Children should not be expected to investigate a concern, confront another person, physically intervene, rescue someone, or solve a serious safety problem alone.

HELP CHILDREN FIND THEIR TRUSTED ADULTS

Encourage children to identify several trusted adults rather than relying on only one person. Depending on the child’s family, school, and activities, these might include a parent or guardian, teacher, school staff member, relative, coach or activity leader, or another responsible adult known to the child.

Ask: “Who are some adults you could talk to if you were worried or needed help?”

TEACH SIMPLE WORDS FOR ASKING FOR HELP

Practise short phrases such as: “I need help.” “I don’t feel safe.” “Something is bothering me.” “Can I talk to you?” “I don’t know what to do.” “I need an adult to help me.”

WHEN A CHILD FINDS IT HARD TO SPEAK

Adults can give the child time, listen patiently, avoid interruptions, use simple questions, allow the child to explain in their own words, and reassure the child that asking for help is okay. Do not pressure a child to disclose more information than they are comfortable sharing.

WHAT IF THE FIRST ADULT DOES NOT HELP?

Teach children an important message: Keep asking until a responsible adult helps. This does not mean children should distrust adults generally. It means they should know they can approach another trusted adult when they still need help.

RESPONDING WHEN A CHILD SPEAKS UP

When a child shares a concern, adults should stay calm, listen, take the child seriously, avoid blaming or shaming, avoid leading or pressuring questions, and follow applicable safeguarding procedures and seek appropriate professional or safeguarding support when necessary.

IF A CHILD DISCLOSES A SERIOUS CONCERN

Do not ask the child to investigate a concern, confront the person involved, physically intervene or rescue someone, promise secrecy about a serious safety concern, or use investigative techniques with the child. Follow the safeguarding policies and procedures that apply to the setting, including relevant local procedures and applicable authorities.

PRACTICAL CONVERSATION STARTERS

Who could you talk to if you were worried? What could you say if something didn’t feel right? What would you do if you needed help? Who could you ask if your first trusted adult was unavailable? What would make it easier for you to tell me something difficult?

BUILDING A SPEAK-UP CULTURE

Adults can regularly ask children how they are doing; welcome questions; listen without immediately judging; praise children for asking for help; discuss trusted adults; model respectful communication; and remind children that adults are responsible for helping keep them safe.

QUICK ADULT CHECKLIST

• I have helped the child identify several trusted adults.
• I have practised simple help-seeking phrases.
• I encourage the child to speak up when something feels wrong.
• I remind the child that asking for help is a strength.
• I listen calmly when the child talks.
• I avoid blaming or shaming.
• I do not pressure the child for unnecessary details.
• I remind the child they can ask another trusted adult if needed.
• I know the appropriate safeguarding process for my setting.